Vacation Time!

I was watching a show on ABC (the middle) Very funny -reminded me a bit of my life-All the women wanted was a vacation -they were planning to go to French Lick. AWHH French Lick- My last vacation or weekend away was at French Lick-Last August- I thought boy that would be nice to do that again and then I REMEMBERED.... - Let me begin by saying my husband is really a great guy really -I know that when the world ends ( Mayan calendar says December 21st. 2012 )-which happens to be my husbands bday -that's another story -but back to him-. I know that when and if that happens he will take care of us -you know hunt for food - ward off killers trying to steal our last piece of bread -whatever-and he will be there to wipe my woohaaa and change my diaper when I'm old-- me on the other hand will hire someone to take care of him. :) sorry I'm good in crisis but not with bodily fluids and he knows that. So back to French Lick -OK we've established he's not so bad, could be worse- We had gambled at the casino a few yrs. back and ever since then we would get comped rooms-free rooms or $20 rooms -they obviously had us confused with the Rockefeller's or something but we would use them whenever we could -It's a beautiful place and they have shuttles that go to the winery down the road so we would get our room get on a shuttle have all the free drinks wine -port - a little pizza pie and the shuttle would take our tipsy asses back to the hotel for free swimming maybe bowl a little and of course gamble a little and of course Hotel sex. It' s alot of fun. This particular trip I was really looking forward to -and i should know better, if I have high expectations things just don't seem to work out so that was my first mistake. It's not bad to have lower expectations because then I'm pleasantly surprised when things go normal :) OK so we drive to French lick as soon we get there we try to get on the shuttle to go to the winery but the man says we stopped doing that last week. there was a dispute with the winery owner - Crap! so we could drive to it but decide not to and as we are talking to the man we notice buses of alcohol being unloaded at the door i mean crates and crates - so we go in to register and there are tables set up and banners and people everywhere the banners say 129th IDEA convention Democratic Party - Steve of course has to check this out . so they hand us a flyer- says second floor 9:00 p.m Karaoke and all the free alcohol you can drink -I'm sure it said something else but that's what i got from it. So we go to the casino and right away things weren't going well, I mean no winery and no swimming just straight to the casino so Steve blows our $100 right off the bat i have a bad headache and he is pissed -now I'm pissed and we go to the room - I take 2 Ibuprofen and drink a glass a wine and go to sleep - ibuprofen has that effect on me. This was 8:00 . I wake up at 12: am and Steve is not in the room -imagine that! no big surprise- I sure am not going to look for him so I'm like crap, my wine is gone too! I noticed i had left my phone in my jeep and decided I'd go get it -As i head down in the elevator ( we are on the top floor) there is people everywhere they are mostly young Yuppies ,well, Democrates and i mean everywhere - I get down to the main floor and drunks galore! I've never saw so many well dressed drunks in one place it's like the golden globes or movie premiere drunk pretty people everywhere! so i get thru the crowd and out the door OMG! the Veranda is full too! With well dressed drunks holding whiskey bottles and singing OMG! if you have ever been to french lick you know the Veranda is beautiful and very big - they were all over it! So I make my way thru the Damn Drunken Democrats and head to the parking lot to my jeep. Open the door and Oh shit Steve left the lights on and the battery was dead - How redneck is that! everyone else is driving Cadillacs and Lexus and we will have to ask one of them to give our 1994 250000 mile jeep a jump in the morning Crap! So i get my phone and don't want to walk thru the gantlet of drunkin yuppies again so i call my daughter which i knew would be awake because she had a bday party to go to. I tell her I'm walking back to the room but would like to talk to her while I'm walking Thru the crowd she says dads an ass and i say i know. :) so as i am walking up to the stairs LOW and BEHOLD who do i see walking down - It was my husband!! He is not wearing what he had on earlier but he is wearing a xxxL shirt bright yellow with neon green writing that says Vote for McDermott all over it - He looked like big bird threw up on him! Yes BIG BIRD!!OMG! and he happens to be walking with two women HMMMM- he sees me and says OHH there is my wife smiling from ear to ear -he has a bottle of Patron( i think its very expensive alcohol ) in his hand and two coronas one sticking out of each back pocket. In my head i said WHERE THE HELL have you been! and WHAT THE HELL do you have on !!! and WHO THE HELL are they!! but i actually said Hi - he said what are you doing i said getting my phone he said i was going back to the casino but lets go to the room. Ok -so we are heading back to the room -in the lobby the crowd seems to know him. Hey steve they say what's up man! It's like being with a rock star or something -Hey Man where ya going partys just getting started - I'm thinking WTF! and then we get in the elevator- in the elevator with us is a young pretty girl i don't know maybe 25 and her husband they are very well dressed and one is carrying a camcorder and one a tripod. They say Hey steve done for the night ? You did a great Job! I don't know what the hell he said because i was still FREAKING OUT! WTF is all I could think! and OMG! they recorded everything!! Steve is stumbling alot and i can tell he's Not here ya know - so the women says come back tomorrow because there is not only free drinks but all the free food you can eat! Ok we get to the room and I start asking questions -Steve starts talking about how the senator gave him $500 and he was headed to the casino with those girls to gamble. I'm like WHAT?! but i know he can't really explain anything until tomorrow because he don't even know WTF at this time. So i do my best to keep him in the room because he had no idea what he is doing and wants to go to the casino i know if he gets out of the room someone will be going to jail -probably him - so I keep him in the room with you know what Sex -you know i'm not proud of it but I had to do something. :) The next morning he remembers nothing after seeing me outside. He explained that when i fell asleep he went to check out the convention and there was two rooms with bathtubs full of free alcohol so of course he drank as much as he could and he and those two girls which were school teachers were singing karaoke together and doing a great job. I BET- at some point in the night he was in the elevator with a glass of my wine -OHH that's where it went. when a senator stumbled into him and spilled it all over his shirt. Steve said well sir at least you didn't spill it on your $100 suite - the man said son my suit cost alot more than $100 but heres $500 for your shirt. WTF! ok so after that he said he took off his shirt and put on the ugly yellow and neon green one and proceeded to drink and party the rest of the night he had given the $500 to the two women and was just heading back to gamble when i saw him.AHH that explains the trying to get out of the hotel room all not. I mean you gave away $500!!!!!!! WTH! Shit! DAMN! OMG! I said ok i'm not being seen with you in this hotel and you have to find a jump for the jeep I'm not doing it. so , he finds a jump and takes all the luggage to the jeep as i hide in the room. I 'm like OK i guess it's OK to walk out with you now so as we leave our room a couple from across the hall come out of their room. The women says to Steve as if they were best friends -your up bright and early after what you did last night. The man she is with said Honey he probably don't remember a thing . Steve says yeah i do i remember everything as if to reassure them. Then looks at me and says I don't know who the hell they are and what the hell they are talking about. :) Then we go to Dennys - which i can say was the highlight of the trip. So now I have a very big yellow night shirt that says Vote for Mcdermott -still don't know who that is and playing cards that say keep Indiana blue in 2010 .So here's to weekends away and if i ever go to Vegas -maybe not the Hangover but i bet i can do a damn good sequel :):)